Unbelief

I never like to think that word describes me. But it does. When I try to overly plan and map out my day, rather than trusting in Him to lead the way. When anxiety and fear creep into my thoughts. When I know He can help me do anything. This little frames sits on my nightstand... It's one of my favorite verses. Even though I look at this little frame everyday, when I don't live it out and trust that He can do what He says He can, I'm practicing unbelief. He's been asking me to do something for a while. Telling me actually. It's touching the most stubborn side of me. I don't like it... AT ALL! Really God, can't it be something else? Leave my family and fly halfway across the world on a short-term mission trip. Sure! Refuse to change my job status back to full time even when I know the coming year will be financially difficult for us. No problem. He did ask these things, and I obeyed with no hesitation. But He knows how to grow me. He knows that this is one thing I haven't completely turned over to Him. Yet everyday, when I choose my own way over His, I'm preventing myself from experiencing all that He has to offer. More importantly, I'm squelching a chance for Him to be glorified. That's nothing more than inexcusable.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile." Jeremiah 29:11-14